Wednesday, May 28, 2003
something falls apart!
nothing precious,
but still... it represent genuine sincerity
it feels fine as much as it hurts…
felt like someone's slitting thine throat
and thy got freaked out…
as if thou art burning like a moth on a flame!!!
by GOD, STOP IT!
thy worth more than thou ever thought about thyself,
and as for me… thou art so PRECIOUS…
I'll be volunteering to place my head on a guillotine,
I'll hand over myself up to be crucified,
I'll even sell my soul if I had to,
I would do anything for thee…
stab me!
execute me!
shed my blood by thy fair hands!
my life… is thine to END!!!
posted by leave at
Thursday, May 22, 2003
A world of Dread,
Where the fearful live inside towering tombstones...
Monuments to the ever descending guillotine of their mortality
I weep for these darkest days
They walk, they talk, and yet,
They know not where they go...
And within all this...
What am I?
What have I become?
I stare at my hands,
At times I see them clean,
At others, stained with BLOOD...
But the blood that runs through my fingers,
The blood that stains my stitches,
Was spilled in the name of LOVE...
But is this an answer?
Is this a life?
I drop lazily toward the teeming green HELL below,
A verdant shroud concealing dark secrets beneath,
I have no understand of the madness into which I descend...
But then they come, the memoirs ~
Like icicles driven into my spine
They haunt my every fiber
Like spiders,
They crawl behind my eyes...
posted by leave at
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
this is the light of mind,
cold and planetary
the trees of the mind are block
the light is blue
the grasses unload their grieves on my feet as if I were GOD,
prickling my ankles and murmuring their humility
fume...
spirituous mist inhabit this place
separated from my house by a row of headstones
I simply cannot see where is to get to
the moon is no door
it is a face in it's own right,
white is a knuckle and terribly upset
it drags the sea after it like a dark crime;
it is quiet with the O-Gape of complete despair
I live here...
the yew tree points up,
it has a Gothic shape
the eyes lift after it and find the moon
the moon is my Mother
she is not sweet like Mary
her blue Garments unloose small bats and owls
how I would like to believe in tenderness ~the face of effigy,
gentled by candles...
bending,
on me particular,
its mild eyes...
I have fallen a long way
clouds are flowering
blue and mystical over the face of the stars
inside the Church the Saints will be blue,
floating on their delicate feet over the cold pews;
their hands and faces stiff with Holiness
the moon sees nothing of this
she is bald and wild
and the message of the yew tree is blackness ~blackness and silence...
my breath is caught halfway through my throat
something between a choke and a gasp
and I always knew that the world would never keep still
but I never get used to it spinning so fast
concrete ground boils and melts away and crumbles
then it freezes then it melts,
then it freezes then it melts...
and I try to keep my balance,
but the wind blinds me and everything is spinning endlessly...
~spinning endlessly!
smiles are just fake curves,
and souls have no shape...
posted by leave at
Monday, May 19, 2003
DISEASE!
Disease is draining me;
anymore it's not so 'pretty please'
Satan is a glass of milk and a bedtime story that Mommy and Daddy scare babies into submission witch!
Facism spreads its cancerous tendrils into the soft guts of Bible-belt-wearing white trash,
organizing their lives around old testament cartoon characters!
We fuck each other with hatred and kill the things we love!
We scapegoat the things we don't understand...
13 years old, dirty and swollen,
are sold into a porno-nation,
sedated and devoured by their fathers...
With it's rabbit-ears smugly erects,
the TV talks in hard-ons and acne medicine,
while a boy dreams of stardom and lives fear to failure!
Denial leads to addiction that leads to denial,
sadistic and constantly inflicting a slow demise!
Whoever said tricks were for kids?
I have never pretended to be anything but an asshole!
I am what you make me!I
'm everything you hate and all you think of beeing!
I am nothing but your fear!
And a fear of something will only call it near;
in the end only fear is here!
Our substance-abusing,
sexually deviant,
Devil-worshiping are not the problems!!
They merely a symptom of the biggest Satan of all...!
posted by leave at
Saturday, May 17, 2003
WORM FOOD...
in the end that's all we amount to, isn't it?
doesn't matter if you were good, or bad, or just plain unlucky...
in the end you're just another cold slab of meat!
dead and gone, and soon to be forgotten...
one way or another, sooner or later,
EVERYTHING DIES!
everything except ME!
just go!
leave me alone!
all the words in the world won't change what I've done...
look at me!
I'm a GODDAMNED PUSSY!
PATHETIC!!!
but hen why am I shaking?
I'm scared of the truth...
afraid to deal with the real!
makes me sick to look at myself!
look at these CHAINS, I'm a SLAVE!
not just to circumstance, but to the PAST!
time to let go!
time to bury the past!
sooner or later,
everything DIES...
even ME!
posted by leave at
Thursday, May 15, 2003
sometimes it's kindda hard being so POSSESIVE of someone you love
kadang bikin sakit hati...
naze? kenapa?
01. you don't want anybody but you to touch her
02. you don't want anybody except you getting close to her
03. bahkan you don't want anybody but you to stare at her....
04. the worst thing is... sometimes you don't want her to get happy with her own friends!!
Kindda selfish, huh?
Tapi ya gimana lagi? That's me! Like it or not! Face it!
So I'm asking for a suggestion..... should I continue being POSSESIVE?
Or should I be more... I don't know lah!
PS : I'm trully sorry, BlackButterfly... I don't mean to be rude... but you know me...
I just can't face it if I had to lose you... It's my GREATEST FEAR! I LOVE YOU...
posted by leave at
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
THOU ART MINE!!!
my body is yours to be embraced
my hands are yours be to held
my soul is yours to be touched
my lips are yours to be kissed
I'm all yours if you promise that you're all mine
I could be your slave to be tortured
I could be your whore to be used
I could be your prey to be hunted
I could be your victim to be killed
I can be anything if you promise to be loyal to me
I'll give you my breath for you to breathe
I'll give you my world for you to command
I'll give you my life for you to end
I'll give you my blood for you to spill
my heart is yours if you promise not to break it
HONESTY... is what I'm asking
DEVOTION... that's all I need
BETRAYAL... and I'll kill you !!!
because you're all mine and I'm all yours
I love thee...
posted by leave at
Monday, May 12, 2003
in my dreams I've woken up a thousand times...
we kiss each other's lips so soft and passionately,
tongues ablaze with liquid flames,
in the dark our souls diffuse...
I think of sin and countless norms,
a thousand rules for plastic fools,
he said "NO!" and we shout rebellion,
young blood the colour of an old stain...
a thousand times our sins are purged...
a thousand times you kiss my G-Spotted fingertips...
the air vibrates hotly and heavily,
worlds spinning a dizzy altitude,
in the dark our souls diffuse,
norms can't stop sweet sinful inclination,
our minds make real what our soul's lust...
in the end we learn to appreciate our sins...
in the end,
we care not!
and the world's spins slowly down to stop...
remembering you is what I always do...
I Love You, ALWAYS.... T
posted by leave at
