Saturday, June 28, 2003
Consider I'm DEAD already...
Because I am...
I want to shed my BLOOD...
but is that answer?
I don't want to run away...
but...
GOD help me...
please...
I'm on my knees...
*I cried*
posted by leave at
Friday, June 27, 2003
the feeling comes again
the feeling of lost
the numbs
my brain, my soul, lost...
numb...
hate it when these things happens,
feels like I want to cut my veins 'till it bleeds
'I wanted to lay down and DIE,
because my pride won't let me CRY'
this freakin' boredom...
I don't want to run away,
but these things are just too HEAVY for me to handle...
GOD show me the way!
lead me through this mizerable things...
I humbly pray...
down on my knees...
I bleed...
longing for the time to come,
my DEATH!
posted by leave at
Monday, June 23, 2003
Let's talk about something...
Q:What is your ideal person to spend your entire life with?
A:"It doesn't have to be a woman! Just someone who is willing to make mistakes and learn from life. I guess life is not perfect. Let's learn to embrace it the way it is!"
posted by leave at
Saturday, June 14, 2003
I have a hope for a new stronger humanity
an age of HORUS...
the "great" are only "great" 'cause we're on our kness
it is time to create!
everything you do, is part of a plane plummeting towards our pitiful, dying earth...
but your art...
what you create,
is stripping onto the burning wings...
and forgeting silly things like LIFE and DEATH for a moment,
just to enjoy for one second a glimpse of beauty,
before you are reduced...
to ASHES...
posted by leave at
Friday, June 06, 2003
Another night of too much cough syrup. I'm awakened by the incessant ringing of a telephone. I still have dreams caked in the corners of my eyes, and my mouth is dry and tastes shitty. Again, the ringing. Slowly, I bustle out of bed, the remnants of an erection still lingering in my shorts like a bothersome guest.
Again, the ringing. Carefully, I abscond to the bathroom, as to not display my manhood to others. There, I make the perfunctory morning faces, which always seem to precede my daily contribution to the once-blue toilet water that I always enjoy making green.
Again, the ringing. I shake twice like most others, and I'm annoyed by the dribble that always seems to remain, causing a small acreage of wetness on the front of my briefs. I slowly, languidly, lazily, crazily stumble into the den where my father smokes his guitars.... I mean, cigars.... In his easy chair. I know ALL about easy chairs. And then I sing a song for my friends: "Jesus is my boyfriend! Jesus is my boyfriend! You can't have him, because Jesus is my boyfriend!"
Ringing, ringing, damn it! Goddamn, mother fuckin' son of a bitchin' ringing! I walk into the kitchen and I stare blankly at that shrieking plastic bastard. Since it keeps ringing, I know it's her. And since it keeps ringing, she knows it's me.
"We are the world... We are the children... We are the ones, who make a darker day, So lets start killing... There's a choice you're making, we're sparing our own lives. It's true we make a darker day, just you and me..."
posted by leave at
Thursday, June 05, 2003
through early morning fog I see the visions of the things to be...
the pains that are with-held for me I realize,
and I can see.....
that suicide is painless,
it brings on many changes,
and I can take or leave it if I please!
the game of life is hard to play and I'm gonna lose it anyway...
the losing card, I'll someday lay..
so this is all I have to say...
the sword of time will pierce our skin!
it doesn't hurt when it begins...
but as it works its way on in,
the pain grows stronger,
watch it brim..
a brave man once requested me to answer questions that are key,
"Is it to be, or not to be?"... and I replied, "why ask me?"
posted by leave at
